the-chemical-factory

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august 4th by the-chemical-factory, literature

Literature

august 4th

"hey, i just saw the news is your family okay?” no and then there are tears the city is once again in ruin // "are you okay?" no again i mourn for a country that is and isn’t home history i’ve learned through stories and stories i’ve learned through a family who was there to see it all first hand - a bloody war but in the heart still stands a land where lemon and mint grow like weeds // i flash back it’s 2018 i stare out the window of the bus - hot and sticky but invigorated and ready to play the part of the tourist in my own country we travel from batroun to byblos castle harissa daraoun beit ed dine bekaa valley beirut we visit the tombs of saints we see ancient ruins, crumbling with time and we drink wine with a 2008 vintage i stare down countless cliffs i stare up countless mountains i take in every little piece and say, gosh, i feel so alive it's a new backdrop but i get used to it - to the the hyena outside our apartment to the uniformed soldiers

how i dream of you by the-chemical-factory, literature

Literature

how i dream of you

i'm caught in the flood of yet another one of your emotional downpours my ankles begin to burn 'cause i ran here so fast but you never give me a choice when you say things like i want you here and i need you i'm a sucker for being wanted and needed it makes me feel whole and human 'cause you're good you're so, so good and i'm just dirt - like something dug up out of a swamp - matted, muddied but you like me nonetheless i can't ignore skin on skin even if it's innocent like your knee brushing mine because i've been trying to listen to my body - been trying to give it what it wants to nourish be nourished so i'm lyin

secret skin by the-chemical-factory, literature

Literature

secret skin

the phrenology head that sits on your bureau still reminds you that personality isn't always personal when you're disordered and maybe skin can lie after all it can say dear god i'm an abomination but honey you're not you're inside you're outside each binary opposition is no moral position each internal dialogue is no backlog of silence all of that is okay all of you is okay

like a stranger by the-chemical-factory, literature

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like a stranger

i feel like my lungs might collapse under all this pressure and all i can think about is how i probably shouldn't have slept with you i can live life in drag but god i hate the stage i could have stayed in that closet but life's inevitability pulled me out kicking and screaming through no fault of my own it's years later and i still can't close a door softly i slam it i need the rattle i need the bang i need to make noise i need to be heard when i come or when i go and you've gotten so good at picking my locks i don't know why i bother putting them up you can keep all your shit in my cupboards just don't make me r

and so i evolve by the-chemical-factory, literature

Literature

and so i evolve

1. i'm at the counter pouring drinks giving lost girls bad advice ignoring the fact that i have no right but it's okay they're baiting me so what's better than relating, see i'm not skating around the obvious 'cause just like them i spend each new day haunted by the last 2. pour liquor over each new wound 'cause liquor never tastes sweet when you're drinking alone so i'm sinking crawling on the floor like last night's supper i'm just an old bag of bones a gag a retch and it all comes tumbling out whether you're doing shots while dancing the night away or just praying it doesn't matter whether you're at a nightclub or a

paralysis by the-chemical-factory, literature

they say it's sobering by the-chemical-factory, literature

genesis by the-chemical-factory, literature

Literature

genesis

she's frowning and it's familiar it's more familiar than the welcome signs at the bars downtown but i get the same bitter feeling and bitter is what i'm used to but it's better than nothing it's better than the void that encompasses me every other day nervous sweat under my arms of all the ghost towns and of all the graveyards i ended up in hers gnashing teeth together we're bugs feasting on the earth's dying flesh bad intentions feel like a fist in this sober island but each sweet word is like liquor nonetheless getting me oh so drunk sticky sickly sweet she tells me she wants me yet all i can do is stare

i once got robbed in seattle by the-chemical-factory, literature

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august 4th by the-chemical-factory, literature

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august 4th

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Deviation Spotlight

cultural dissonance by the-chemical-factory, literature

Literature

cultural dissonance

1. i have flown around the world and you - you remind me of home aunties, uncles, cousins teta and jiddo men and women brown from dry heat and desert sun but then there are waves crashing against sandy seashores and there are palm trees ripe with falling fruit fresh at the market and there are men fishing at the phoenician wall it's give and take and like this land you are never selfish 2. i have flown around the world and you - you remind me of all that i miss so i'll tell you you're beautiful when this sense of discord is poured down my throat and dissonance shows up like an eclipse but you can still find me in the dark and y